You’re Right Where You’re Supposed to Be

Erik Current Events, Thoughts of a Mastermind 12 Comments

I went on a first date this past Monday. One of my favorite things to do on a first date is to play a game where each person is allowed to ask the other person 3 questions and the other person has to answer honestly. We take turns and usually this gets the conversation going to a deeper level. On this particular night, I was asked 2 questions that I believe are worth sharing with you.

Ask Me Any Question and I’ll Give You My Honest Answer

I was walking around the nearby lake with my date and I said let’s play the 3 question game I described above. She started off asking me if I liked dogs or cats more. Honestly, I thought this was kind of a dumb question, but still was respectful. I answered I prefer dogs because they are more energetic and can play ball with you.

It was my turn. I asked her one of my favorite questions to ask someone I have just met: if you could pick 1 day in your life to go back and re-live, what day would that be and why? I love this one because it gives me a look at what the person values. If they value accomplishment, they might talk about the marathon they finished earlier this year. If they value social activities, they may talk about their birthday party from a few years back. Maybe they enjoy traveling and tell you about seeing some awesome architecture in another country. This question opens up the door to a lot of great topics.

Then it was back to her to ask a question. She asked me the first question I want to share with you.

What would be your ideal career or work if you had no limitations?

This is an awesome question and a question everyone should think about. For me, I want to be an influencer and help people reach their goals. I believe I’m working towards that right now in 2017 through The Mastermind Within, my Quora answers, and mentoring students from my college. Eventually, I’d love to be able to do this full time in some capacity, though I want to find the right niche and right angle where I can make the most impact, but also be passionate about the subject.

There are so many people who want help and need help, but don’t necessarily know where to go for it. I’m looking to build skills, knowledge, and experience, so that I can be in a better position to help people in the future.

After answering this question, I asked her a question about her favorite meal (not the best, but a decent question to see if our eating habits would be similar). After her answer, she asked another great question.

Do you believe you are going through a quarter life crisis?

I think this is a good question, but kind of silly as well. I came out straight and said “No, not at all.” She was very surprised at my response and said, “Oh, I’ve been going through one for at least a year now.”

She then re-phrased her question because she was a little off-put by my confidence and conviction.

Why do you feel comfortable where you are in life?

proactive behavior take control

This question was easy for me to answer, but there were two points I addressed. First, I referenced my discussion with my roommate regarding proactive behavior and how it’s important to let go of the things you can’t control and work hard to ensure the things you can control go your way. I told her a fantastic quote (which I have no idea where I read it, so hopefully you can advise me on this!): “In life, you are exactly where you are supposed to be.”

She was taking back a little bit and thought it was some great perspective on the situation. I then shared with her my second point: starting at the beginning of 2017, I’ve structured my time in such a way that has helped me work towards my goals. Each and every day, I wake up and work a little bit on myself and my goals. I have financial goals (save $35k), fitness goals (continue to be able to touch rim in basketball), self development goals (75 books read), and now have added some business, social, and career goals. It’s part taking action, part being consistent. I realize there are many variables I can’t control, and as a result, I don’t worry about those. That being said, I’m in control of the many variables that I can influence.

We probably won’t see each other again because I think she has a ways to go in her maturity, but overall, I’m very happy I had this conversation with her. It allowed me to solidify my thoughts on my personal situation. I’m loving life right now and working towards my goals. I can’t wait to see the results in a few years! 🙂

Conclusion

There are things in life you can’t control, but there are so many things you can control. If you are stressed out about life, and believe you aren’t reaching your goals or living up to your own expectations, maybe it is time to reassess and align your time and actions with those goals. Just keep plugging away and you will get there – I promise.

Readers: What day in your life would you re-live given the chance? Do you ever get super stressed out about your daily activities? Have you had a quarter or mid life crisis?

Thanks for reading.

Erik

Comments 12

  1. My favorite day to go back to would be the first full day I had on my own in Tajikistan. I lived there for a summer and after the jet lag abated, a group of friends and I went to explore the town we lived in. We navigated public transport to go to the bazaar, reveled in all the fresh fruits and vegetables and nuts, admired all the wares, danced with old men, made new friends and went to town on watermelons. I remember laughing until I cried and having a constant smile on my face.

    I’ve only recently begun the changing my mindset from “my future will be great and handed to me” to “I have to work for what I want my future to look like.” It does mean evaluating my priorities and actively working towards them, instead of just dreaming about them. I would call that my 1/3 life crisis (I want to live longer than 60, but 90 seems like it might be too long) since I’ve only recently started feeling like I am wasting time.

  2. “It allowed me to solidify my thoughts on my personal situation.” – This is great! As they say, when you can explain it to others you understand it yourself.

    1) A day I’d like to live over? – The day before my father passed away. To say all the things I now realize I should have said.

    2) No, daily activities don’t stress me out, but unfortunately, I still let other people; something I’m continually working on.

    3) Probably!

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  3. “One of my favorite things to do on a first date is to play a game…” – I thought this was going somewhere different 🙂

    That is a nice ice-breaker and exercise to get a little deeper understanding of someone new.

    I don’t get stressed about daily stuff anymore, and that may be why I’ve avoided a mid-life crisis. While day I’d relive may require deeper thoughts – it is an excellent question to consider, so thank you!

  4. It sounds like you were quite judgmental given that it was just ‘a game’. Reading through the answers, it sounds like she was nervous about meeting you for the first time, and a lot of people are a bit hesitant in their answers in situations like these as they don’t want to give the ‘wrong’ answer.

    I like the concept, but my read is that it isn’t so much a game as it is an interview.

    1. I appreciate the feedback Money Beagle… I agree that the way I wrote the post is a little bit less focused on her answers and more focused on my answers.

      I’m a very analytical and facts based person (ISTJ if you are familiar with Myers-Briggs), and I’m trying to be more descriptive in my writing, but sometimes it still comes out very factual.

      Though, to counter to your last statement, aren’t all dates at some level an interview? 🙂

  5. I’ve always found that alcohol is a great ice breaker on a first date. If you wanted truly honest answers, this is a great place to start. Plus it makes the date more fun in what could otherwise be some very awkward moments.

    I think I would fail this on a date, I don’t have goals, I don’t write down my goals, and I would probably answer catching up on my netflix queue would be a top goal of mine.

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      I’m a little bit of a lightweight, and I don’t drink too much anymore. While I agree with you, I’ve experimented and “grabbing a drink” for a first date hasn’t been too successful for me. I’m still trying and learning 🙂

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